Since the emergence of COVID-19, the school has made many rules as an attempt to stop the spread of the virus. Whether it’s wearing masks or staying six feet apart from other people, these rules are mostly understood and followed by our students and staff, but one rule in particular leaves students and staff scratching their heads and wondering “Why?” Apparently in an effort to halt the spread of COVID, our school has banned the use of straws. Now, I think I and the rest of my colleagues here at The Talon can speak for everyone when we say this is not a groundbreaking horrific act of abuse upon the masses of our school… But still we want to know why our straws have been taken from us. My first step in solving the mystery of why our straw rights were taken from us was interviewing some of our staff members. I first hit up the head honcho of the CHS student store, Mr. Miller.

Now as you can imagine Miller deals with a lot of beverages seeing how he runs the store with the help of some CHS Eagles of course. With slushies and energy drinks galore, a straw seems to be an essential when enjoying these liquid rays of heaven, but alas we are now straw-less.

When speaking to Miller he simply said this judgement was beyond his control and I should aim higher up the ladder. So what is higher than our very own lovely principle, Mairi Scott-Aguirre.

Now get this… Scott-Agurrie does not know much about this rule either. She said it simply comes down to students having their masks down. So that is pretty much it, there is not a big conspiracy or anything like that. The school simply wants kids to keep their masks up, and of course, that is next to impossible. And when I went around asking some students what they thought of the rule, many did not know that it was in place. In fact many of my friends use straws in class with their Dutch Bros. drinks.

I think it’s safe to say that though our straws have been taken from our student store, we Eagles are very resourceful when it comes to getting things we want, so this will not stop us from getting these long tube drinking devices in our grubby little hands. (And as a final PSA, cardboard and paper straws would be the greatest punishment you could give to a student. Those things are the work of some kind of evil higher power…and fast food joints.)